“Without friends, no one would want to live, even if he had all other goods.”
Aristotle
Friendship. What is it? Who do we share it with? Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics describes friendship using the greek word "philia", which denotes a more expansive concept than in modern English. In his paper titled Friendship in Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics: An Essential Component to the Good Life, David Thunder describes philia as "a mutual attraction between two human beings... a general sociability, a desire to cooperate in shared activity of any sort, from the utilitarian business transaction to the close, personal relationship of true friends". Philia (sometimes referred to as philos) interchanges with our modern definition of the concept... love.
According to Aristotle every interaction between two human beings accords a measurement of friendship. He postured that interactions were not merely convenient, platonic, or acquaintance. Each interaction defines a friendship according to pleasure, utility, or goodness (of good people).
I cherish a beautiful day, today. My wedding anniversary. While I'd desire to write romantic, sweet-nothings to capture my emotion, I feel better inclined to highlight a concept frequently overlooked in successful relationships: friendship. Without friendship, true love doesn't exist. As Aristotle argues, friendship of good people is love.
Friendships of good people (as Aristotle refers to it), embodies what we all innately imagine love to be. The concept behind this friendship derives from complete selflessness. Take for example a husband who cares solely and wholeheartedly for the needs of his wife. He sets aside his personal needs and insures that his wife's needs are met. Accordingly, his wife works tirelessly to serve her husband's needs, while foregoing her own. Each individual reinforces each other's needs, demonstrates humility in service, and further strengthens the relational bonds of friendship. This demonstration, Aristotle believed, defined love.
In a society laden with "friend requests" and obligatory Christmas cards, I challenge the reader to consider the deeper sentiments of friendship and its affect on those around us. A moment of reflection would reveal that our every interaction accords a degree of friendship with the individual we interact. These interactions prove more intimate with our spouses and loved ones. We honor them when we exhibit the friendship of good people.
Oh, and to my wife (here enter sweet-nothing previously avoided), I'm honored to be your husband and marvel at the fruits of our friendship... I love you dearly and cherish each moment with you! (Brownie points... #public display of affection)
I don’t mean be sarcastic when I refer to your previous post about wrapping paper as a metaphor for friendship. Your reference to the superficiality of Facebook friends certainly speaks to the casual use of friendship in contemporary society.
ReplyDeleteI believe too many people spend more effort “gift wrapping” their relationships while ignoring the quality of the gift inside. That gift under the wrapping paper must consistent of shared values, mutual respect and trust for it to become the quality of friendship to which you and Aristotle refer.
I don’t agree that love and friendship are the same. A person can treat someone with love, as Jesus Christ implored his followers, without befriending that someone. In this regard, love can be a behavior.
Love can also be an emotion. Certainly love can evolve from a close friendship. But is can also be precipitated by some strange biochemical reaction that causes a person to love someone that does not fulfill the criteria of friendship.
I do agree that close friendships are a gift of love that are truly meaningful regardless of the appearance of the wrapping paper.